POETIC NOESIS- A Personal Poetry Blog by Dr Javed Alam
  • About
  • Poems

-​Poetic Noesis-
A Poetry Blog
-Dr Javed Alam-

I remember her- a poem by Dr Javed Alam

28/2/2019

 
I remember her

I remember her very well, a woman 
with a lack of restraint, 
pacing around in anxiety, in agitation;
carrying a fear 
of being abandoned by everyone, 
carrying an emptiness, a black hole, within. 

I remember her mercurial nature,
her lack of healthy boundaries with people,

her ambiguity about her goals and ideals,
her coquetries, her impulsivity, 
all gnawing the fabric 
of her simmering soul.

She called her days 
living on a roller coaster.

Her troubled early life 
nudged her to see things 
through a black and white paradigm.
She struggled to tolerate 
the grey shades, motley traits,
in human nature, in a single person.


I remember her pattern 
of unstable relationships,
her idealising and hating the same person 
within a short period, 
her pushing away the people 
she wants or needs in her life, 
​her lack of close friends, 
her random encounters with strangers, 

her spending sprees.

I remember her longing, desperation,
to fill her frightening emptiness 
with an enduring healthy relationship.
But she did not know the art of weaving
the fabric
of enduring relationships.

She had mastered the craft 
of draining the patience, the energy, 

of her family, and friends.

The tempests, within, drove her 
to kitchen drawers,
cliffs, drugs, rooftops, alien streets.

I remember her distorted self- image,
her doubts, her guilt, her denials, 
her streak of grandiosity;

her struggles to follow her treatments.

Yes, we did not let her wander in wilderness, 
and we promised to ourselves:
we will help her to work 
on her immediate and long term goals,  
on regulating her emotions, on practicing
mindfulness, on nourishing 

the healthy relationships, on finding a purpose to live,
​on becoming a rudder for her turbulent ship.

(2019)


(this a small attempt to demystify borderline/ emotionally unstable personality to raise awareness about this condition. This is a fictional account based on my encounter with hundreds of patients with this condition).

(The Beautiful Space- A Journal of Mind, Art and Poetry 2019)
©https://www.poeticnoesis.com/


Comments are closed.
    Picture

    Poems

    These poems have been previously published in various literary  journals, magazines, books and anthologies around the globe including the UK, the USA, Ireland and Canada.

    Archives

    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    October 2021
    September 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018

    List of Poems

    All
    A Dream - A Poem
    An Attic Hand- A Poem
    A Paint Shop- A Poem
    A Patient Note- A Poem
    As I Sit In A Room Thinking- A Poem
    COVID-19: A POEM
    Despite All The Grandiosity- A Poem
    Emptiness- A Poem
    Grandfather- A Poem
    Home- A Poem
    How I Saw You- A Poem
    How To Be Happy- A Poem
    I Create A Royal Road To My Misery- A Poem
    I Know A Girl- A Poem
    I Know A Place- A Poem
    I Love Dreaming- A Poem
    I No Longer Talk About- A Poem
    I Order My Heart To Be Patient- A Poem
    I Remember Her- A Poem
    I Sing A Song For Those- A Poem
    It Hurts- A Poem
    It Is Not Every Day- A Poem
    Like A Poem- A Poem
    Mango People- A Poem
    O Dreams- A Poem
    Of Man- A Poem
    Of Wind- A Poem
    Of Women- A Poem
    O Life- A Poem
    O My Soul- A Poem
    O My Unruly Mind- A Poem
    Once Again- A Poem
    Our Brain- A Poem
    Perhaps-it-is-not-your-famed-beauty-a-poem
    Proem- A Poem
    Silence- Apoem
    Social Media - A Poem
    Solitude- A Poem
    Sorrows- A Poem
    There Again- A Poem
    Time Is Going To Come- A Poem
    We Are Often Lost- A Poem
    We Often Believe- A Poem
    We Often Forget- A Poem
    Who Am I- A Poem
    You Are Always With Me- A Poem

    RSS Feed

© Poetic Noesis 2017- 2023
Instagram- @poeticnoesis

  • About
  • Poems