I remember her
I remember her very well, a woman with a lack of restraint, pacing around in anxiety, in agitation; carrying a fear of being abandoned by everyone, carrying an emptiness, a black hole, within. I remember her mercurial nature, her lack of healthy boundaries with people, her ambiguity about her goals and ideals, her coquetries, her impulsivity, all gnawing the fabric of her simmering soul. She called her days living on a roller coaster. Her troubled early life nudged her to see things through a black and white paradigm. She struggled to tolerate the grey shades, motley traits, in human nature, in a single person. I remember her pattern of unstable relationships, her idealising and hating the same person within a short period, her pushing away the people she wants or needs in her life, her lack of close friends, her random encounters with strangers, her spending sprees. I remember her longing, desperation, to fill her frightening emptiness with an enduring healthy relationship. But she did not know the art of weaving the fabric of enduring relationships. She had mastered the craft of draining the patience, the energy, of her family, and friends. The tempests, within, drove her to kitchen drawers, cliffs, drugs, rooftops, alien streets. I remember her distorted self- image, her doubts, her guilt, her denials, her streak of grandiosity; her struggles to follow her treatments. Yes, we did not let her wander in wilderness, and we promised to ourselves: we will help her to work on her immediate and long term goals, on regulating her emotions, on practicing mindfulness, on nourishing the healthy relationships, on finding a purpose to live, on becoming a rudder for her turbulent ship. (2019) (this a small attempt to demystify borderline/ emotionally unstable personality to raise awareness about this condition. This is a fictional account based on my encounter with hundreds of patients with this condition). (The Beautiful Space- A Journal of Mind, Art and Poetry 2019) ©https://www.poeticnoesis.com/ Comments are closed.
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PoemsThese poems have been previously published in various literary journals, magazines, books and anthologies around the globe including the UK, the USA, Ireland and Canada.
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